The War is Over

Looks like the War on Christmas is finally over thanks to the tireless efforts of conservatives over the years. The election of Donald Trump appears to have the “atomic bomb” that finally ended the “war”.

waronxmas

With the war on Christmas over, I wonder what the next made-up thing will be that the elite will use to trick members of the lower and middle classes into fighting amongst themselves and, ultimately, voting against their own best interests? Perhaps a War on Easter?

The Power of Copper

Nothing beats a solid lampooning of a ridiculous product that purports to essentially work by magic (e.g. healing you with magnets, extracting toxins through your skin with body wraps, etc).  That’s where the sorely underrated Auralnauts come in:

The joints in your hands are achy and useless.
Using your legs produces an unreasonable amount of heat.
Your spine has been targeted for destruction by an unknown assailant.
There is only one solution to all of your problems.
Introducing: COPPER!

And, we cannot forget these other great products: Zoomies (“Welcome to the future, Mr. Cool Dude.”) and BEAMZ by FLO (“BEAMZ is an instrument so advanced, it’s made out of lasers.”).

The Auralnauts just don’t put out enough content.  Maybe if more people bought some of their music?…

If you’re curious, here are the original commercials for the aforementioned ridiculous products for comparison: