Hello, this is Niles Standish Calling!

Fans of “prank call” humor, rejoice!  Niles StandishI have gone through the first three seasons of the TV show Crank Yankers and made mp3s out of every prank call featuring the Niles Standish character (voiced by Tony Barbieri).  There’s something about the voice of a British Earl making prank calls that is just hilarious.

Some calls are better than others, but they’re pretty much all worth listening to.  The ones I’d recommend the most are Niles hires a receptionist, Niles calls a diaper service, and Niles calls a hardware store for advice.

Here’s a transcript of a bit of the Niles calls a hardware store for advice call:

Niles: “Hello.  I was calling because I had some questions about caulk.  For my bathroom.”

Hardware Store Employee: “Okay, so you’re gonna want mildew resistant?”

Niles: “Yes, sounds all right, okay.  I’m sure you know more about caulk than I do.”

Hardware Store Employee: “Okay.”

Niles: “All right.  Now, how big is this caulk?”


I know the fourth and final season has at least one more Niles Standish call, but I was not able to get a copy of the fourth season. :-(

Be forewarned: most of the calls are pretty dirty.

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