Mars Attacks

The last two times a Shrek movie has come out in theaters, Mars, Inc. released “ogre-sized” M&Ms. Now, a common problem with peanut M&Ms is their chocolate to peanut ratio. There was always too much peanut and too little chocolate. With the time-limited arrival of these “ogre-sized” M&Ms, this imbalance was rectified (in fact, the ratio went a little to far to the other end of the flavor spectrum, but I digress…) by the temporary increase in size of the chocolate coating.

Recently, however, during the time between Shreks two and three, M&M started using smaller peanuts in their candy. Now, I’m not complaining –these smaller peanuts tasted better and provided a better peanut-chocolate balance — but I noticed something odd after the release of the third Shrek movie. The “ogre-sized” peanut M&Ms this time around were nothing like their previous incarnations! The thickness of the chocolate coating remained the same, but the peanut inside was larger! In fact, I am almost certain the peanuts were no more than 15% larger than their size prior to the M&M Peanut Shrinkage event of a few months back! And not only was the amount of peanut increased instead of the amount of chocolate, the peanuts themselves tasted terrible.

I am very displeased with this bait-and-switch tactic used by Mars, Inc. to destroy my enjoyment of their tasty treat. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Did you think I was that dumb just because, for a brief moment, I thought M&Ms were printing capital Es on their candy during this past Easter (yes, that’s a true story — I was a complete moron for a few seconds there)? Well, I did notice. And I’m mad.

Argh! Why are my favorite foods always the first to be taken away? Frankenberry cereal, Booberry cereal, Old Dutch Mexican Chili Chips, Mexican Chili Nuts & Bolts, Choclairs, Old Dutch “Double Dutch” Mesquite BBQ Chips… What’s next?

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