And To Think I Saw It On Mulberry Street

When I got out of the house this morning, the western sky was flashing like a strobe light in a gay disco bar. I felt like I was back in Bastogne with the Gerries raining hell down on us. That distant storm has settled down now, and i had hoped it would make its way toward the center of town, but I can’t smell the storm. It’s going to miss us by passing north of the city.

Why must you mock me, Thor? Oh, Zeus! Where is your mighty hand? What have I done to deserve your spite, aside from never worshiping you and only referring to you in jest? Surely you are merciful? No? Well, screw you guys.

The second thing I saw on the work today was a deer. A young buck was prancing about the abandoned city streets at 4:30 in the morning. I snagged a photo of it on my cell phone as it meandered over to the nearby 7-11 for what I can only presume was an opportunity to get a Pepsi Slurpee. I chased it around in my car a little, trying in vain to get a better picture before leaving it be.  I am almost certain this buck was a scout for a great deer army that will soon descend upon the city.  Yes, the “lightning” I saw was actually artillery fire!  This proves it!

The third strange thing I saw today — brace yourself — was a cop walking along the sidewalk, presumably “keeping the peace”.  Now, I’ve seen heavenly raves before, and a deer in the city, while rare, is not unheard of, but I’ve never, ever seen a cop just patrolling the downtown streets on foot.  To be honest, I’m at a loss to say anything clever about that.

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